DisneyWorld Resort + Goth Teens = Comedy

I tell you what, the kids these days really love them some DisneyWorld. The familia and I just spent a solid week there. A couple of observations:

• Teens will always try to be rebellious no matter what.

It’s supposed to be “the happiest place on earth” yet I was still able to spot a really high ratio of teens dressed like they were like “like SOOO over it”. It had to be at least 80 degrees out and totally sunny yet still they wore their black gear. The best was the ones where you could just tell that they were pretty new to the unparalleled angst of being a teenager. They were the ones that would give their parents the stink eye 90% of the day then fight like hell against the need to smile and laugh on a ride. I laughed out loud once when one kid got so angry at his mom for asking him to take off his black ski cap so as not to ruin the family picture with Goofy.

• EVERYONE loves the teacups ride:

Seriously, the day we got there I saw a story about a woman who got the crap beat out of her as a result of what can only be described as standing in line in the heat at Disney for the Teacups rage. I couldn’t make this stuff up. Anyhow, I am convinced that if either of the two people involved in this fiasco would have taken 10 seconds to look at the faces of the riders this whole thing could have been averted. I will say this right now. It is impossible to NO smile when you are riding the Teacups. If you don’t smile on the Teacups then you are not human. Literally everyone I looked at, young or old, goth or not, big or small, whatever they were, everyone had a big doofy grin while riding. I think that most of the worlds problems could be solved by simple putting both sides in one Teacup and just let them laugh it out.

• Teenagers these days have way more facial hair than when I was a teenager.

Seriously, I know it’s trendy and all to have a beard, but it’s like global warming or something. There were like three or four band trip groups I noticed that there were at least 4 dudes with beards. Like full on Grizzly Adams shit.

• Don’t use the elderly as tripods.

I witnessed at least three occasions where someone was using what I can only assume was Grandma as a camera tripod. Like placing the camera on their head and adjusting them. One time the poor old lady was actually wailing aloud as a result of the pain caused by a lady that was contorting her in all types of fashions in order to get that money shot that made it look like the grandkids were wearing the giant 10 story tall Mickey Mouse hat at Disney’s Hollywood studios. It was very sad to say the least.