Have You Seen Junior’s Grades?

Just got from the midKNIGHT showing.  Holy crap.  This movie is like a fully loaded semi truck left in neutral at the top of mountain.  Started of slow yet powerful, then you can guess how and where it goes.  Everything that has been written about Heath Ledger’s portrayal of the Joker deserving an Oscar is to be believed.  Not saying it was the greatest acting job in the history of movies, but holy shit it was one of the best I have ever seen.  I won’t through in any spoilers, but the scene in the interrogation room gave me actual chills it was so good. I don’t think that has ever happened to me in a theater.

Actually, everyone did a pretty great job in this one.  I can’t think of a single role that wasn’t acted to it’s fullest.  We saw a lot more of Gary Oldman than in Batman Begins and that is definitely a REALLY good thing. Also, there was an interesting jab at the current Presidential administration that turned out to have an interesting twist and really made me think about certain liberties it has taken on our people as far as privacy goes and whether or not the ends justify the means.

I can’t say enough about this movie so I will just finish by saying this film definitely lived up to the hype in my book.

So in browsing some of the top WordPress blogs, I ran into LOLCATS and I gotta tell you, I just don’t get it.

I am a pretty humorous guy and can def. see humor in just about anything, but this site just completely perplexes me in that people actually find it funny. Not that I am trying to insult everyone, to each there own and all, but it’s like watching a standup comedien that you don’t find remotely funny but everyone else in the room does.  Maybe I am just getting old.

A while back whilst channel surfing I stumbled upon the Chiller channel, which I had never actually heard of. Low and behold they were airing an episode of my all time favorite TV show Twin Peaks. David Lynch’s early 90’s tv show only stuck around for two seasons but made a lasting impact. Kyle Maclaglens portrayal of FBI Agent Dale Cooper to this day remains my favorite TV character of all time.

In addition to Agent Dale Cooper’s love for a damn good cup of coffee and a slice of pie, he was also filled all sorts of wisdom that I seemed to miss the first time that I saw the show. Granted I was in high school when it first came out (yikes) but I can’t help but feel I should have heeded some great advice from Coop back then my life would be just a little bit better today.

“Harry, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it. Don’t wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men’s store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee.”

I tell you what, the kids these days really love them some DisneyWorld. The familia and I just spent a solid week there. A couple of observations:

• Teens will always try to be rebellious no matter what.

It’s supposed to be “the happiest place on earth” yet I was still able to spot a really high ratio of teens dressed like they were like “like SOOO over it”. It had to be at least 80 degrees out and totally sunny yet still they wore their black gear. The best was the ones where you could just tell that they were pretty new to the unparalleled angst of being a teenager. They were the ones that would give their parents the stink eye 90% of the day then fight like hell against the need to smile and laugh on a ride. I laughed out loud once when one kid got so angry at his mom for asking him to take off his black ski cap so as not to ruin the family picture with Goofy.

• EVERYONE loves the teacups ride:

Seriously, the day we got there I saw a story about a woman who got the crap beat out of her as a result of what can only be described as standing in line in the heat at Disney for the Teacups rage. I couldn’t make this stuff up. Anyhow, I am convinced that if either of the two people involved in this fiasco would have taken 10 seconds to look at the faces of the riders this whole thing could have been averted. I will say this right now. It is impossible to NO smile when you are riding the Teacups. If you don’t smile on the Teacups then you are not human. Literally everyone I looked at, young or old, goth or not, big or small, whatever they were, everyone had a big doofy grin while riding. I think that most of the worlds problems could be solved by simple putting both sides in one Teacup and just let them laugh it out.

• Teenagers these days have way more facial hair than when I was a teenager.

Seriously, I know it’s trendy and all to have a beard, but it’s like global warming or something. There were like three or four band trip groups I noticed that there were at least 4 dudes with beards. Like full on Grizzly Adams shit.

• Don’t use the elderly as tripods.

I witnessed at least three occasions where someone was using what I can only assume was Grandma as a camera tripod. Like placing the camera on their head and adjusting them. One time the poor old lady was actually wailing aloud as a result of the pain caused by a lady that was contorting her in all types of fashions in order to get that money shot that made it look like the grandkids were wearing the giant 10 story tall Mickey Mouse hat at Disney’s Hollywood studios. It was very sad to say the least.

As stated before, I friggin love hulu.com. Aside from having a crapload of current and older TV shows, they have added full length movies. Sure, most of them are pretty crappy, but to my delight I saw that they uploaded the Tony Curtis/Jack Lemmon/Marilyn Monroe classic comedy Some Like It Hot.

I admit to not being a huge movie snob and unlike a few of the aforementioned I don’t think that “they don’t make ‘em like they used to” when it comes to comedies. Having said that, they really don’t make comedies like Some Like It Hot these days. In an age of gross out comedies and all of those horrible spoof movies (Date Movie, Scary Movie, Epic Movie) this one is pure comedic gold. Comedy that is actually funny and not stupid humor. I don’t know, maybe I am just getting old and jaded but holy crap I was rolling around the floor laughing at this one.

I had totally forgotten how great this movie was. The first time I saw it was in drama class in high school. No, I wasn’t a drama dork, I just heard that there were always pretty girls in drama. Come to think of it I have to thank my teacher from that year. She was responsible for two of the very few things I really remember taking away from high school that I keep with me to this day. One was how to juggle, the other being a fan of Some Like It Hot.

Being a musician I must say that American Idol to me is a strange thing.  It’s something that I have to keep in context.  I am not a music snob or anything, but everyone on that show literally sucks in real life.  I can sit back and enjoy the show by keeping it all in context.  When someone does well on AI, I liken it to them just sucking less in real life.  And given the fact that my daughter LOVES the show, I have to tune in every week and critique.

Having said that, man does this season totally blow compared to the previous ones I have seen.  I am completely annoyed by pretty much every person on their.  Again, not being the cynical musician here.  In previous seasons I have had soft spots for Taylor Hicks among others.   They just all seem to think that their shit doesn’t stink.

Brooke White:  Totally condescending and looks about 10 years older than she claims to be.  I can tell she really does think she is to good for the show.

David Cook:  Total hack.  He takes covers of covers then covers them while accepting all of those “you are so original” complements with a shit eating grin.  Has been portrayed on the show as “the rocker” when in fact he rocks about as hard as Phil Collins.

Ramiele Mulabay:  How this woman has managed to get on television is beyond me.  I just don’t understand how someone who is supposed to “perform” just stands up their like a dead fish.  Has a big voice, but she hits so many bad notes that I want to rip my hair out.  I know this is totally inappropriate to say, but I just can’t shake the feeling that she is the type of woman that would whine in bed.

Jason Castro: One of the few that I actually don’t really dislike.  He seems like a noce enough guy and doesn’t seem to take the competition so seriously, which in real life is a good thing but on the show isn’t.

Carly Smithson:  Has the incredibly annoying ability to turn every song she sings into a Celine Dion rip off.  She also makes the grossest faces ever when she belts out the high notes.

Little David Archuleta:  I actually feel bad for this kid.  You can tell that all he wants to do is please his stage father.  He is like a little robot who has been programmed/brainwashed by an overbearing prick of a father.  There is definitely a defeated sadness in his eyes.

Kristy Lee Cook:  Is just happy to be there.  I can’t fault her for anything but not having any sort of personality.  Boring.

Syesha Mercado:  Again, totally boring.  A very cynical friend of mine suggests that she is kept around for the urban factor.  Totally forgetable. Nothing unique about her.

Micheal Johns:  Consistently turns in the least suck performance of the show.  The Queen songs he sings are actually pretty good, even in real life.  Hi annoyingness comes from the fact that he is a ringer whose band was signed to Madonna’s label.  And the fact that I suspect him to be at least 35 years old.

Once again, I am not just some cynical musician has been/wannabe.  Ok, well at least I am not cynical.  I have actually enjoyed previous seasons of the show, there is just something totally off about this season.

Took a trip to Ikea this weekend.  Picked up one of these babies for $25.

I have to say that it is the best $25 I have spent in a long time.  And mind you in the past week I have spent at least that much on pain pills and penicillin as a result of my trip to the dentist.  I friggin love it.  It actually makes me want to spent more time on my laptop which aside from more online buffoonery also means more work productivity.  It’s really light so it’s easy to carry it from room to room (I was THIS close to bringing into the bathroom with me).

I digress.  If you happen to at Ikea buying some wacky multi colored plastic eating utencils or wondering just how much Ikea crap you could fit into a 377 foot living space, I highly suggest picking up one of these bad boys.  Yeah, that and have some of the meatballs they serve in the cafeteria.  Yummy.

I like Jack White, but not the White Stripes. Does that make any sense?

Love the way he plays and sings but I just never got past the whole White Stripes shtick. I liked Jack White in theory, but disliked his execution. This was one of the many reasons why I LOVED the first Raconteurs record Broken Boy Soldiers.It had all the elements that I like about Jack White soulful vocals, great melodies and some kicks ass classic rock guitar. It didn’t sound much like the White Stripes and there was a definite delineation between White’s songs and that of fellow singer/songwriter Brendan Benson. All of these things made the first record pretty amazing.

Unfortunately these are also the same reasons why the Raconteurs sophomore fails to live up to the promise of  Broken Boy Soldiers. The majority of Consolers of the Lonely to me sounds too much like the White Stripes with a bass player. The riffs, the drums and even Brendan Benson’s vocals have seemed to have been enveloped by the idea that Jack White of the White Stripes is in their band whereas before it sounded like they were a band with separate but equal parts.

Funny thing, it took till the 12th track (a cover of Terry Reid’s Rich Kids Blues) for me to think “Alright, this really is a Raconteurs record”. I don’t think this to be coincidental, the fact that it took the records sole cover song to remind me what I really like about this band. Jack White’s talent lent to a song that didn’t sound like his other group.

BTW: I am not even going to pretend to have ever heard much about Terry Reid. I do have to say he has an interesting history. Back in the day a young guitarist named Jimmy Page asked him to be the singer for his new musical project The New Yardbirds. He turned it down, the job eventually went to Robert Plant and the group renamed themselves “Led Zeppelin”.

The kids today love them some Tony Romo. I happen to be a big Cowboy’s fan myself. I personally didn’t buy into all that crap that the Cowboy’s sucked because of Jessica Simpson. However if there were any truth to that then the Dallas Cowboy’s season is fucked.

The title says it all.

The kids loved some X Files back in the day. Chances are that the video below will be removed soon, so knock yourself out.

Looks really great, but then again I am a huge fan of the X Files so my judgment might be a bit skewed. From what I have read online it’s not necessarily a sequel to the first X Files movie as much as it is a stand alone story.

The kids these days seem to love cover versions of cover songs and tend to mistake them for “being daring”. Much the same way that Chris Daughtry got props for being “daring”, David Cook “took a chance” by covering Chris Cornell’s version of “Billie Jean” which by the way was a horrible cover to begin with.

Brooke White: She gets more and more condescending with each passing week. Those completely fake smiles she gives the judges when they critique her make me want to vomit. Oh yeah, she also attempted to sing Every Breath You Take by the Po Po which was relatively decent compared to the rest of the gang.

Ramiele Mulaby: What does she have against doing songs that haven’t already been done like 14 times on the show before? Her performance of Heart’s “Alone” was like watching paint dry. That is if paint was struggling to sing a song way to big for it’s voice. Which by the way I have seen and then heard Simon mention “As an interior paint that was alright, but as an exterior latex paint you are going to have to work harder than that”. She needs to go home.

Carly Smithson: It’s gotten to the point that I just can’t watch her perform. Those horrible faces she makes and those strange undulations actually make me feel a little gross. She totally wiffed that Bonnie Tyler song by trying WAY too hard to impress.

Chikezie: (Yawn). Wait, did he actually perform tonight?

David Archuleta: I LOVE the fact that Simon took a dig at Archuleta’s creepy ass stage father by hinting that it wasn’t Little Davey’s choice to do whatever the hell that horrible song he did was. I couldn’t help but think that it was simply a better sung version of “The Touch” by Dirk Diggler.

Of course he won’t be voted off anytime soon as basically anything short of taking a dump on the American flag while onstage won’t get him thrown off. Speaking of American flags:

Kristy Lee Cook: She took it as a compliment that Simon mentioned it was a “clever” song choice. It really was. After her version of “God Bless The USA”, she is basically letting the American people know that if they don’t vote for her then the terrorists win. This is exactly why she will stay another week and that stiff Ramiele will go home.

Jason Castro: It seems that with each passing week he cares less and less and makes no bones about about it. Which is exactly why he is my fave. He even admitted this week that he “needs to practice more maybe”.

Micheal Johns: I have to say that I actually really liked his performance of We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions and found myself thinking that if Queen goes back on the road they should take this guy with him. Nothing against Paul Rogers, but Johns actually conjured up the spirit of Freddie without sounding exactly like him.

Syesha Mercado: (Yawn) Wait, she also performed?